


Happily devoted to you

by MidgardianNerd



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Maybe a little bit sappy, Modern AU, They're cheeky and in love, Writer!Ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-27 00:27:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14413731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/pseuds/MidgardianNerd
Summary: Ben was never alone. Sometimes, Poe just has to remind him that.





	Happily devoted to you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [idrilhadhafang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Maybe He’s Amazed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13871607) by [idrilhadhafang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang). 



> For my dear Idrilhadhafang who wasn't feeling well and so needed some fluff. I'm her humble servant. 
> 
> Takes place in her BenPoe College verse. (I'm beginning to love deeply this verse)
> 
> I hope you will like it, even if I'm not entirely satisfied with it.

There were a lot of people. Definitely more than Ben expected and enough to make him uncomfortable and completely terrified. He could feel the sweat making his shirt stuck to his back and the tie he wore for the occasion was pressing against his throat, making it difficult for him to breath. Ben stayed hidden behind a bookshelf of the bookstore when his first reading as an official author was supposed to happen. 

There were mostly young people. He could recognize some students from his campus but in all these stranger faces, there is one which was missing. Ben looked down, sighing and trying to not let his desire to cry showing. When his publishing house told him that he would have to do this reading to promote his first novel, Ben felt dreadful. He knew that it was something expected from him and being an author wasn’t anymore only to write. He needed to be seductive, at least enough to captivate an audience. 

Ben couldn’t do that. He wasn’t made to talk front of strangers without making a fool of himself or without sounding like a total nerd. He couldn’t smile to them and charm them like that. His smile wasn’t as beautiful as Poe’s. It was just dorky. How people could take seriously his writing when they would see the real him? Unconfident, shy, asocial? He was captivating. He was plain and boring. He would disappoint them. And his dream would be over. 

Ben should probably try to enjoy this moment as long as he could. But he was unable to do that. Nobody he knew was there. He refused to tell his parents that he was finally publishing his silly writings. He knew that his father would have been there if he knew. But Ben couldn’t let him doing that. How his father would react when he would read that Ben killed him in the story? Probably bad. He hoped with all his heart that his family wouldn’t take the time to read his book. 

Ben sighed again, biting his thumb, trying to quiet down the shakiness of his hands. He tried to remember the breathing techniques Poe learnt to him when he obligated Ben to do some yoga with him in the mornings. Surprisingly, it worked and Ben let a little smile escaping. Even not there, Poe could help him. But it was precisely the problem. Poe wasn’t there. 

Not that he didn’t want to be there. When Poe realized that Ben’s public reading session was happening at the same time than one of his exams, Ben physically saw Poe’s heart breaking. His boyfriend felt awful and he asked an hundred time to Ben to forgive him, even when Ben was reassuring him that there was nothing to forgive. It was just life. Unfortunately. Poe still gave all his encouragements to Ben, with a lot of kisses and love words, before leaving for his exam. Ben felt slightly better and almost convinced that he could do it. 

 

But now the owner of the bookstore and the agent from the publishing house were pressing him to go on the stage and to charm all these people, all their eyes focusing on him. Ben walked on stage nervously, focusing on his own feet to not stumble and ridiculing himself front of them. Ben took a seat and grabbed an hard copy of this story he worked on for the last years, result of so many cries, shouts and doubts. 

He put on his glasses, in a vain tentative to look more serious, while opening the book to come to the first page. He could hear the bell of the door ringing, showing that someone was late and trying to not disturb the silenced audience. Still, Ben was unable to look up at them and he could feel the awkwardness and maybe even the hostility coming from them in reaction to his defensive behavior. 

Ben opened his mouth after having take a deep breath. But no words came out. He couldn’t speak. His throat was choked and soon the shakiness was back in his hands. Ben tried to focus on the letters front of his eyes but everything was blurring and words weren’t making sense anymore. He tried to remember Poe’s voice telling him to breath in and out, to take his time, that he could do it. But his own pulse beating in his temples was muting Poe’s sweet voice and Ben wanted to cry and to flee, far away, and never face the world again. Someone probably heard him because soon, hands were grabbing him and dragging him away from the audience. 

 

Soon, Ben was hidden from them, behind the same bookshelf than earlier. His two hands were crossed on his own chest and stuck between him and another chest. Ben had so many questions. But the only thing mattering now was to quiet down his erratic breathing and the technique of this person was working. 

When Ben was finally able to breath again without feeling like he was dying, his eyes were able to see clear things back. And he had the most beautiful view of his whole life. Poe was standing front of him, his beautiful smile shining in the dark alley of the bookstore. His hair were wet and the water was dropping on Poe’s face. 

 

“Welcome back my beloved nerd!” whispered Poe, his hands cupping Ben’s face. 

“Poe!” breathed out Ben, grabbing Poe’s wrist in his hand. “What are you doing here?” asked Ben, worried while passing an hand through Poe’s wet hair. 

“I finished my exam earlier than expected.” shrugged Poe. “ I didn’t want to miss your first reading session.” he added, smiling to his lover. 

 

Ben bit down his lower lip, amazed at how Poe could still surprised him and make his heart bursting in love like he was falling for him as the first time.

 

“Is that true?” asked Ben while putting out a tissue from his pocket and trying to dry Poe’s hair, bringing a dreamy smile on Poe’s lips, the young man loving when his lover was taking care of him. 

“Well, maybe I hurried up to finish my exam. And maybe I ran under the rain to the bookstore.” admitted Poe, looking slightly embarrassed. 

“Poe!” exclaimed Ben. “You shouldn’t have done that.” grumbled the young man. “Especially for me.”

 

Ben had to stop when Poe grabbed his vest to drag him against him and soon, Ben was mesmerized by the fire in Poe’s eyes. 

“Of fucking course I would do that for you Ben.” groaned Poe. “I would do anything for you. Never doubt that.” 

“I’m sorry.” spluttered Ben.

Poe slid his arms around Ben’s neck and instinctively, Ben put his arms around Poe’s waist, cuddling him tighter against him. Poe’s fingers lost themselves and Ben moaned, his eyes closing in pleasure, opening back when he heard Poe chuckling. 

 

“I love you Ben.” and with that, he kissed him chastely. 

 

Ben could feel himself relaxing against this body he knew by heart. Poe was there. Ben should feel ashamed to have put Poe in such a position but Ben was selfish and Poe being there was everything he wanted and needed. So there was no point to argue. Poe was too stubborn, by the way. 

 

“In this reality.” began Poe, putting his forehead against Ben’s, diving his eyes in Ben’s deep brown eyes. 

“And in every other ones.” finished Ben, truly smiling for the first time since this morning. 

 

Poe looked at him with pure love, his thumb stroking Ben’s cheekbone. Then, he kissed again his boyfriend and the world around them disappeared for few seconds. When they separated, Poe was still cuddling against him but he took the lead of the situation. 

 

“You can do it Ben.” said firmly Poe, putting his hand on Ben’s chest to order him to not panic again.

“I’m not sure.” mumbled Ben, looking down, not wanting to disappoint his boyfriend.

“I know you can do it.” answered Poe, taking Ben’s chin in his fingers to rise up his face to look at him. “And I will be with you every second of it.”

“You will?” asked Ben, wanting to hear the answer even if he already knew it.

“We’re a team.” smiled Poe with a wink. 

“We are.” nodded Ben, stealing a new kiss to this wonderful man who was his.

 

* * *

 

Everything went quickly after that. Poe told to Ben to leave his tie and jacket and to open some buttons on his chest. Ben felt instantly more comfortable and a little bit dumb to not have think about this simple thing by himself. 

Then Poe walked on stage, smiling to the impatient audience and charming them in a matter of few seconds. When Ben reappeared front of them, embarrassed and blushing hard, they didn’t look as hostiles as he thought first. Ben took back his seat and to his surprise, Poe took a seat next to him, coming closer to him so their knees would brush against each other. 

So Poe grabbed an hard copy of Ben’s novel and with an hand on Ben’s knee, he began to read the first chapter, captivating the audience with his sweet voice and Ben felt his heart beating hard in his chest, wondering if he wanted to become an author all his life for this moment. To hear Poe giving life to his words. To hear the love and the pride in his voice while he was making the rest of the world discovering Ben’s hard work. 

Ben was so lost in his emotions and so mesmerized by his lover and how wonderful he was than he almost miss when Poe ordered him to follow his lead and to read the next chapter. Ben took a deep breath and he began to read, his eyes sticking to the words on the page and his hand buried in Poe’s. He could do it. He was doing it.

 

* * *

 

 

He did it. He bloody did it. 

 

He did the reading without messing more than he did at the beginning. And the book signatures with the audiences went well. Ben even managed to talk with some of them and he felt relieved to see that they were truly intrigued to read his book. Ben could breathe normally again. 

He couldn’t see Poe anymore. His lover disappeared after Ben got installed to sign all these books and Ben began to feel the need to be back at their home, safe and alone with Poe. And maybe to thank him for his support. He could think about one or two things he could do to reward his boyfriend. 

After he got to say goodbye to the agent and after he thanked the bookstore owner, Ben looked around the now empty room except for a small figure waiting patiently for him next to the pile of hard copies of his book. With a lazy smiled, Ben joined him quickly and when he stood front of him, he leant forwards to kiss him but an hard blow on his chest stopped him. When he looked down, he saw Poe holding a copy of his book. Ben looked up, confused. 

 

“Could the author sign it for me?” asked Poe, a cheeky smile on his lips and Ben bit down a smile. 

“Sure. To whom?” asked Ben, grabbing the book, a playful smile stealing his mouth.

“To your most devoted admirer.” whispered Poe in Ben’s ear, his hot breath sending shivers in Ben’s spine. 

“Isn’t it a little bit presumptuous to give yourself this title?” smirked Ben. 

“I can prove you that I deserve it.” answered Poe, throwing a seductive look to Ben which made him swallowing hard. 

 

Ben buried his nose in the book, trying to not jump on Poe in the middle of a public space. After few seconds of thought, he wrote something down before closing the book and giving him back to Poe. Poe, excited like a child at the Christmas’ morning, opened the book to look at Ben’s messy handwriting. 

 

_ To the one who proved to me that words weren’t that important. Your Ben from this reality.  _

 

Poe looked up at him, his eyes shining with tears and Ben smiled shyly before Poe put an arm around his neck and kissed him, long and deep. Ben buried his boyfriend in his arms and soon they were hugging in the middle of an empty room. 

 

“That’s a collector now.” chuckled Ben, tightening his embrace on Poe’s waist and he felt his lover cuddling deeper in his body. 

“I will cherish it all my life.” mumbled Poe in Ben’s shoulder. 

“As long as you still have some time for me.” laughed Ben and Poe looked at him, his dorky love glance reappearing. 

“Love, I always have time for you.” smiled Poe. “Now, come to home with me. I want to see how many words I can steal from you while I suck you off.” he added with a cheeky smile and a wink.

“Poe!” moaned Ben. 

“You’re not really eloquent for an author.” chuckled Poe and Ben grabbed Poe’s arse in his hands, making the other man’s breath hitching. 

“You’re such a bad fan.” whispered Ben against Poe’s mouth, brushing his lips against Poe’s.

“Make me good.” challenged Poe, a defiant look in his eyes and licking his own lips. 

 

Ben groaned before throwing himself on Poe’s lips to ravish his mouth in an hungry kiss. It took them few minutes to be able to separate from each other before becoming really indecent and Ben grabbed Poe’s hand before going outside, both of them running under the rain, laughing like the world was their. And maybe it was. 

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: @midgardiannerd

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [No need for words here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14414910) by [idrilhadhafang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang)




End file.
